To the ego, life looks like accidents and miracles. People think I'm a heavyweight intellectual with broad interests. The ego keeps making itself known in my daily affirmations. Active and passive voice await connection during blog contemplations. Then there's that pesky idea of perfectionism mewling in the background of my mind.
Buddha offers that perfectionism is part of the ego. Great Trickster proclaims nothing is perfect, that such a thing doesn't exist. What we think of ourselves must be transcended. To feel serene and impervious is almost a different conscious than who we think we are. Rarely do we think ourselves serene and impervious.
Being "perfect" protects the idea of who we are. If I strive to be the perfect, daughter, let's say, does it mean I'm afraid that isn't really who I am? Buddha says it's actually pretty easy to let go of the notion of self. If one considers themselves to be an utter loser that no one wants to talk to, does that also qualify as an ego? Or is that just some weird self punishment?
Are egos really that fragile? It's the subtle mind attack that makes our psyche hurt so much. "You're really not what you strive so hard to be." Whoa. That's a killer blow for anyone.
If the Great Teachers frequent the acceptance of anything being possible, then where is the idea of perfectionism? It's obvious that bettering yourself could possibly elude these teachers' revelations. I suppose it would depend on the vision. Attract what you admire? Wouldn't sitting on a plateau in bliss be perfection? Would fulfillment or absolution apply?
As long as you have an ego, you're on a limited trip. Do people need specific motivations to hold onto an idea? The ancient part of the brain interprets new ventures as threatening. The ego - our idea of ourselves plays tricks on us, including loss of interest. We decide that we don't really need to workout after a few sessions because we're good just the way we are. Procrastination and perfectionism are hard-wired into us all simply because we're human. Distraction doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us, either. Everyone goes through irrational discomfort now and then.
Buddha says to sit, be calm, meditate, be one, reach for the stillness. Yet our Souls crave new action. We're determined to live new lives after we did, but lose interest once repetition settles in and even gain acceptance that this is who we're supposed to be.
The ego is always going to tell you to stop anything new. The Soul is more determined. Perhaps Buddha's sweet spot in the middle is more about authenticity than avoiding perfection. Transcending the Ego's reluctance to do anything new doesn't mean you won't eventually be aligned.
Your Ego's trying to keep you safe. I agree that nothing is ever really perfect. The uncomfortable feeling keeps you from relaxing and relating. My advice: stay optimistic, lose all fear. Nobody's perfect so don't beat yourself up.
( My apologies for taking a bit in posting. December always takes an interesting path.)
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